Jan Boydstun "The Gadget Gal"

We had the wonderful opportunity of hearing Jan Boydstun's testimony on Wednesday and how her journey began here in the desert back in 1989. She shared how she was only going to be coming out to the desert, leaving the beautiful beach behind, for 4 months while her parents transitioned in opening their new store in Indian Wells. She ended up meeting her husband Gary at Gold's Gym, which was also a funny thing the way that came about. Jan shared how she knows without a doubt that God orchestrated the entire plan of getting her out here to the desert, saving Gary and the situation he was in, and also saving herself. After the birth of their second child, Gary and Jan both agreed that they wanted to get back in church and check out 3 different churches here in the desert. Southwest Community Church (back when it was at Hovley) was one of them and they instantly felt at home and loved it. 9 years ago Jan was asked to be a part of the "Guess the Gadget" segment on The Discovery Channel's "Home Matters" show. That opportunity has since spiraled into Jan doing gadget demos and seminars for all types of different churches, group, non-profit organizations, the list goes on.

Jan concluded her time with us with our own little gadget demo and little "guess the gadget" game. Some of these gadgets were awesome and I'm sure make things in the kitchen easier and a little more fun! Just a few of them were... the nork, square egg maker, PB&J spatula, banana starter, apple peeler, pineapple corer and the #1 knife!

Kitchen Kitchen has moved locations (same shopping center, just a few doors down) and has a few events coming up that are worth checking out if you're able to make it! Friday, November 13th from 5:30-7:30 is the official ribbon cutting ceremony. Then on Saturday, November 14th, Jan is going to have the 30th Anniversary celebration and Grand Opening of Kitchen Kitchen and the new store/kitchen (God-willing that everything passes inspection). We'll be praying for that Jan!! You can check out kitchenkitchen.com for more info and be on the lookout for cooking classes starting in January.

Moms Night Out - Halloween Style!

Last Friday was our first MNO of the year and we had a great time! Bridgette did an awesome job of organizing everything and incorporating a fun Halloween twist to it! We started out the night by going on a scavenger hunt around Dana's neighborhood and I think we all felt like junior highers again! Just some of things we needed to get: a ghord, mini pumpkin, skeleton tattoo, candy corn, broom... the list goes on! Super creative Bridgette! 2 out of the 3 teams ended up in a tie so we had a fun tie breaker digging through our purses to see which team had the winning items - it was a great time! We also played a "guess what food" Halloween game that was absolutely disgusting. I'm glad that Dana and Bridgette got a kick out of how freaked out I was to touch the items and figure out what they were while I was closing my eyes, haha!!! It was fun to listen to everyone's reactions! At the end of the night we voted on Best Costume and our winner was... Miss America Jennifer Cox!

Our teams before the scavenger hunt...

And a few more pictures from the night...

The Gift of Prayer

We had the awesome privilege of having Tricia Johnson come and speak to us about prayer on Wednesday! It was a great morning and I know that so many of us took so much away from what she had to say through the comments I've heard from you guys and what I've been reading on Facebook - it was great!

It's easy to remember to go to Him during our trials but do we remember to go to Him in the midst of our everyday comings and goings? I know that most of us think we're just too busy to pray, too much going on everyday to stop and go to our Father. Tricia reminded us that "WE ARE TOO BUSY NOT TO PRAY!" Our busyness should be the reason that we come to our Lord. Our craziness, demands, schedules, life, etc. He can be our everything whenever we call to Him in the midst of our day and we should pull from that.

Tricia summed up a day in the life of Jesus and how busy, crazy and hectic it could get. Our days probably aren't like those that Jesus experienced but there is nothing that we go through and experience that Jesus hasn't. He knew he couldn't make it through a day without prayer. Take the time - We can't get through our life without prayer.

Phillipians 4:6 says "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." There is nothing that is too big for our Lord. We should be praying about everything, then, God's peace will come among us. Do you need peace in your life? Your home? Your kids? Extended family? Pray! Take the time to slow down your day and go to your Father.

Prayer is a gift. It is something we get to do. We can come before the throne of God with confidence. We are too busy NOT to pray because God values our prayers. He keeps them forever.

James 5:16 says "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." Jesus has cast out demons, healed and provided. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. The Spirit of Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Through the power of the Spirit of Christ living in YOU, through prayer you too can cast out, heal and provide. It's there, you just have to take it, receive it and use it!

Here are a few things Tricia mentioned we can do to apply all of this to our everyday lives:

• 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says "Pray continually." Our lives can be a prayer. Pray throughout the day and offer our lives up as a prayer.
  
• Be your child's prayer partner. Pray for the decisions they'll make, for their family, their character, future spouse, whatever it is. Be praying for them.
  
• Pray for yourself for your kids.
  
• Pray while you're driving, exercising, sitting at soccer practice or whatever it is your doing. You don't have to close your eyes and bow your head to talk to God!
  
• Try and also find a solitary place to pray (the bathroom, closet, wherever it may be)... Make it your "prayer chamber."

Thank you so much Tricia for coming to share with us and for opening up your heart and your passion of prayer! We all took so much away from it and we are so thankful for you!

Still to come...

Can you believe we're already halfway through our Fall session?! I can't! It's gone by way too fast but we still have a great lineup of speakers for our second half...

October 28th: Tricia Johnson - Prayer

November 4th: Jan Boydstun - Kitchen Kitchen

November 11th: Veteran's Day - NO M2M

November 18th: Homemade gifts and holiday traditions

REMINDER: Walk for Life

Hi Ladies!!
Just a reminder that the Coachella Valley Walk for Life is this Saturday!! This is an amazing event and one of the main fundraisers to raise money to help support the Crisis Pregnancy Center. You can find out more information here but registration starts at 8:00 and the walk starts at 9:15. Bring your kids for a fun morning out and it's sure to be a great time with the bounce houses and games that will be there too! Even if you don't have the form filled out with sponsors and money they would still love your support of walking with everyone for the event! I hope to see you there!
Love & Blessings,
Holly

Discipline (part 2)

What another great morning we had! Ruthie concluded her talk on discipline and focused her discussion on "Correcting with Consequences" this morning. I think we would all agree that we could listen to her talk to us week after week with all of the wisdom she provides! I just love it!

A great verse to remember during these preschool years comes from Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained in it." Look it up and mark it in your bible. How appropriate for everything Ruthie talked about today! Discipline is not fun but let's look to the future and it will all be worth it in the end.

What DOES NOT work...
Nagging, Getting angry, Yelling, Giving the silent treatment, Lecturing and Scolding.
All of us tend to resort to these things but none of them are going to achieve lasting results.

What DOES work...
CONSEQUENCES!
They develop responsibility in my child, Are effective in causing my child's behavior to change, Eliminates power struggles, Reduces complaining and arguing and Builds my child's self-esteem and self-control.

There are 2 forms of consequences:

1. NATURAL: This is when parents get out of the way and let nature take it's course.
Here's the sequence of events in a natural consequence:

• Child chooses to ignore responsibility or directly defies parents' direction
  
• Child experiences pain
• Parent allows child to experience pain
• Child complains to parent
• Parent gives sympathetic response
• Parent asks what child will do next time
  

A few examples that were shared this morning were the child wanting to go to the park wearing inappropriate clothing (tank top and shorts) and then having to leave after only 10 minutes - and the other about running through the house repeatedly and bumping into something and hurting themselves. I'm sure there are a million others we could have shared that we all experience on a daily basis but the point of natural consequences is that your child is learning to trust your word. It's a life teaching situation. Take them in your arms and empathize with them.

2. LOGICAL: Parent intervenes with a consequence that is logically related to the misbehavior. Logical consequences can be decided ahead of time by the parent, child, or parent and child together. The Key Factor is that they must be painful - not in the sense of harm to your child but in leaving a lasting, unpleasant memory.
Here's the sequence of events in a logical consequence:

• Clearly communicate the expectation to child
• State consequence
• Let child choose - do not intervene!
• Apply consequence
• Child complains
• Parent reminds them it was their choice and empathizes with their feelings
• Parent asks what child will do next time

One of the key things I took away from the logical consequences was empathizing with your child during a time that can be so stressful after they've chosen not to obey and listen several times. I finally got it when Ruthie used the example of us and how we like to be talked to and listened to after having a rough day or week or whatever the situation may be. It's so true and the same goes with our children.

The conversation surrounding the situation is very important. EMPATHIZE with them. Your child needs empathy and sympathy from mommy. Use serious speech and tone and let them know you have no intention in giving but all the while you can be empathetic to their situation. You must apply the consequence. It's the certainty, not the severity that has results.

You have a creative mind and a great God that will help you when you're having hard days and aren't sure what to try or where to go next in your discipline journey. Pray about it and God will give you ideas to use and try out.

One last thing to remember: You're the leader and it's your job to guide your child into a disciplined life that will result in righteousness and peace.

Discipline (part 1)

We had a wonderful morning yesterday and got to hear all about the wonderful world of DISCIPLINE from our very own Ruthie Thune!! I love her charismatic style and the way she completely engages us while she's speaking with all of the great information and stories to go along and help us get it!!

The 3 parts of discipline:
1. Instruction: Happens in many different ways - modeling being the most common. Here are a few questions to ask yourself and the way you look as a model in front of your children: "Do I have a relationship with God and do my children see it?" "Do I model the behavior I want my children to have? (loving, patient, kind, etc)" "Am I acting in a loving way toward my spouse, family and friends?" And then there is the formal instruction. The time we spend with our children physically teaching them something. This could be in Sunday School, Summer Spectacular, family devotion time at home, during rides in the car, etc.
2. Training: Guided practice (along the same lines of what Cynthia Moses shared with us last week).... The time you work with your children teaching and training them in different areas. You can't expect your child to know things you haven't taught them.
3. Correction: Taking action to ensure the child follows the training and direction that's been given. Key Question: Have I made myself clear?

Ruthie went on to discuss the aspects of Direct, Assertive Communication, otherwise known as "Leadership Speech." Being a leader is a calling and God has called you to be the parent of your child. Leadership speech is clear, concise and commanding.

• 55% of our communication is nonverbal! A few things to take notice of while communicating: Eye Contact - your child needs to be looking into your eyes when making leadership speeches, Body Posture - lean towards your child, Bodily Distance - hold/touch your child softly and with a loving touch, Facial Expression - Relaxed, has eye contact but is serious.
  
• 38% of our communication is our tone of voice! We need to be firm but not harsh. The tone comes out with much more pronunciation. It should be evident that we expect them to obey us the FIRST time.
  
• Only 7% of our communication are the actual words! Pretty astonishing!! Make a command, don't state wishes or desires. Describe in detail what you want. Don't beg, plead or count. Make statements, don't use rhetorical questions. Make your request once and expect change. State the action you will take if behavior doesn't change and then follow through. Don't make empty threats, take the actions. Don't give choices or consequences you don't really mean - Be realistic. Don't argue or reason when trying to get your child to do something - Good reasons come in the instruction and training phases.
  

Ruthie ended her talk with a very funny story that had me laughing so hard my eyes were watering like crazy! It came from "Parenting by the Book" by John Rosemond and I think we all related to some extent with what the story was saying, good or bad.

The time flew by as usual but I can't wait for her to talk to us again next week and continue on to "Part 2!"